This is my first reflective blog and I've written it for two reasons: 1- to help myself and guage any progress made towards my goals and 2 - to help and encourage anyone doubting they have the abilities to be what they want in life (like I did). If any one sentence in this blog strikes a chord in one person and gives them the encouragement to carry on, not give up and to start believing in themselves I will be a very happy person.
I feel as if I'm waiting for a connecting flight to a far off land. I have finished the first leg of my journey and have landed on terra firma. To be specific I have passed my degree - (Whayy!!! )and have qualified as a Counsellor. To be honest I never thought I'd get here!
Before I look forward and make new goals I will instead look back. Why? Because I am a very different person than I used to be - I like myself now, I have confidence in my abilities and am no longer plagued with crippling anxiety and panic attacks. I no longer feel worthless in a room full of people and am excited to see what else I can achieve.
I sometimes wonder where I would be if I hadn't discovered counselling to study and personal therapy to help me through my difficulties. I probably wouldn't have even considered buying the tickets for the first plane berating myself for even thinking I could make the trip. So what made me get on that plane? I'm not even sure I can answer that right now (maybe exploration for future blogs) - all I know is I did!
Click here to find out what Counselling is and what it could do for you
In those first weeks of Year 1 of my degree course I felt like a total fraud. It seemed that everyone else (I mean everyone) had a valid reason to be there when I didn't. I felt like running out of the room and shouting SORRY! for even considering I may have been worthy enough to join that elite group. Sooner or later I would get thrown out when I was discovered for the imposter that I was!!
My journey from there has been immense - I realised how strong I actually am. I passed my degree despite personal problems, financial difficulties, breaking my leg and just the sheer juggling of work, University, Placement, children (that sort of thing). If there's any sort of advice I would give to anyone in a similar position is allow yourself failures and bad days - maybe the odd meltdown (at one point I was throwing chips around my kitchen) - something me and my kids laugh about now! and be kind to yourself. I have learned that Self-Care is very important to your wellbeing personally and professionally. No one wants a burnt out Counsellor!
So, I won't sum it up in a title- a whole paragraph is far more appropriate: